Another day, another beach based T&A flick with another main
character named Scotty. Unlike Hardbodies though, Miracle Beach made
it's debut in 1992. But much like Hardbodies, Miracle Beach has strong
ties to Playboy TV, being that this was one of only two films ever
directed by Skott Snider that wasn't for Playboy. I guess the guy
really knew how to angle a boob shot or something. Ami Dolenz is in
this movie being her usual super cute self, and in expected good girl
fashion, she does keep her clothes on, although she does look smashing
in a bikini. She's the bikini genie! Ha! So funny. What's not funny is
a film exists with that name. Hrm. I need to find it.
Moving
on! Let's get this movie started! Can you believe that I'm two
paragraphs in and I have yet to mention that Scotty McKay is played by
Mr Awesome himself, Dean Cameron? There were actually a surprising
number of recognisable people on the cast (well, recognisable by me
anyway). Not only was Ami Dolenz in this movie (have I mentioned how
cute she is?) but also Dean Cain, Pat Morita, Alexis Arquette, Vincent
Schiavelli and the fat kid from National Lampoon's Senior Trip! Right
on!
So Scotty McKay is at work ogling the Tahiti Cooler girl on TV (he has
a job unlike our previous Scotty) when he decides to take a break and
duck home to see how his sick girlfriend is doing. He can't find his
boss Chuck, so he asks a co-worker to cover for him and even picks her
up a bunch of flowers on the way home. When he actually gets home, he
finds out that not only is his girlfriend Cindy not sick at all, but he
can also stop looking for his boss! Chuck fires Scotty on the spot and
leaves with Cindy in tow. A few seconds later, Scotty is greeted by his
landlord with an eviction notice. He's now unemployed and homeless.
Scratch that part earlier where I said this movie was different to
Hardbodies.
Unbeknownst
to Scotty, somewhere high up in the clouds, things are
starting to work in Scotty's favour - although he doesn't know it yet.
Cute young genie, Jeannie, (I know. Original.) has been given a
goodwill mission and assigned to earth. She is upset about it and
doesn't want to go, but her supervisor warns her that she is pretty
much on probation and that she better not stuff this assignment up.
Back on Earth, despite the fact that he is now homeless, single and
unemployed, Scotty lets his rather excitable friends Soup and Lars drag
him to a beach party they are crashing. Scotty believes the party is a
bust, but that is until the girl from the drink commercial arrives. She
is the girl of Scotty's dreams! Is this fate? Apparently not because
Scotty bombs out big time with Miss Tahiti Cooler aka Dana, and Dean
Cain comes to whisk her away. Disgruntled, Scotty raids the bar and
heads out to get drunk on the beach. He runs into Gus, the local bum,
on a park bench. Gus tells him that all he needs is a warm blanket and
rifles through his shopping cart to find one to give to Scotty. Amongst
other rubbish, he pulls out Jeannie's bottle and leaves it with Scotty.
Just before falling asleep, he wishes for a warm bed to sleep in and a
couple of babes. When he wakes up he finds exactly that. He's sleeping
in a luxurious warm bed with two gorgeous, naked women. The only
problem is that it is smack bang in the middle of the beach. Scotty
freaks out, grabs the bottle and hauls ass to see the local Mystic -
Vincent Schiavelli! The Mystic tells him that if he believes in the
power of the genie, that anything is possible.
Scotty
tries his luck and rubs the lamp and discovers that he does indeed have
a genie (named Jeannie) and after wishing to be showered and in clean
clothes, he hits the beach with his new friend, finding the perfect
opportunity to impress Dana who is sunning herself on the beach. Scotty
asks Jeannie to make Dana fall desperately in love with him and charges
towards her before Jeannie has a chance to tell him that that is beyond
her powers. After making looking like a complete fool, he decides to
try and redeem himself by beating Dana's date (Dean Cain) in a game of
two on two volleyball. Jeannie of course ensures that Scotty is the
greatest player in the world. The match is a success and Dana is
suitably impressed. Meanwhile Scotty starts to realise that anything is
possible and sets off to find his friends, who can see Jeannie once he
wishes her visible. Before he knows it he has a home and cars and his
friends are planning an amazing party. Jeannie has even offered to help
Scotty be the kind of man Dana would fall in love with. Remembering the
kindness of the old bum Gus the night prior, Scotty finds him and tries
to give him $10,000. Gus is insulted and says that he would rather
work. Now that he owns a beach resort, Scotty offers Gus a job, which
he gladly accepts. But there is something strange about the old man...
Everything seems to be moving according to plan, the
party is in full swing and Scotty is thrilled to discover Dana eagerly
responding to his advances. Jeannie convinces him to wait before
sleeping with her, as she won't respect him if he moves too fast.
Scotty agrees, even though it's the last thing he wants to do. She
offers to teach Scotty how to be the perfect man, so that Dana will
fall head over heels in love with him, but unfortunately finds herself
falling in love with her master too. Scotty is blind to anyone but
Dana, so when Jeannie finds out what kind of woman Dana really is, she
does some meddling which gets her in all sorts of trouble. Scotty finds
out and is furious, and Jeannie is set to be banished to her lamp,
powerless for all eternity at midnight. The only way she can be freed
is if Scotty professes his love for her, but he's on a date with Dana.
Things are looking grim for our perky little genie!
Yes, I know. It's ridonkulously obvious how this movie is going to end,
but there's nothing wrong with a predictable happy ending! And besides,
its plain to see that Ami Dolenz is far cuter than Felicity Waterman
anyway.
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