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I give it: 2 out
of 5 for the words “Corey” and “Feldman” in the
credits.
I seriously
think they should be taking legitimate steps to rename this movie
“Meatballs 4: Corey Feldman saves the film”. Granted, the
film was crap, and Corey F was so out of place as the only decent actor
in the entire cast, but for me, he at least made it watchable. If
you’re not a Corey fan, I suggest you steer clear.
The basic premise for our
little story is as follows: Lakeside water-ski camp is in financial
trouble. Their summer attendance has dwindled to little more than 20
students, and Twin Oaks water-ski camp on the other side of the lake,
and it’s rich owner want to take over Lakeside and turn it into a
golf course. Their only hope is to attempt to boost attendance rates so
they can make their $200,000 mortgage in time. You get your usual bunch
of teens who look way to old to be attending summer camp. Mean jocks,
bimbos with big boobs, the obligatory fat/nerd guy who will no doubt
end up with a pretty girl (In this flick they went all out and actually
got a fat nerd rather than just one or the other. Points for effort)
and yet more bimbos willing to get their norks out for the sake of
quality cinema I’m sure.
Then there’s the
counsellors. Due to the camp’s financial woes (or is that the
movie’s financial woes?) the number of counsellors is whittled
down to three (plus one blonde girl that you see at both the beginning
and the end of the movie. I know. It makes no sense to me either).
Smarmy Kyle thinks that he’s a shoe in to get the position of
Recreation director. Of course it doesn’t help that Kelly, the
owners’ slightly whiny daughter is his girlfriend. But in an
effort to boost attendance, a new counsellor is brought in. Ricky Wade.
Cue Corey Feldman to play the uber cool character. Kyle is notably
pissed, and Kelly shocked, as her and the Feldog apparently used to
have it going on before he left the camp two years ago for reasons yet
unknown. It pains me to call him Ricky, because that’s the name
of the fat kid from Better of Dead so, he will henceforth be referred
to as Corey. Corey “drops in” in true showboating style by
parachuting into the lake with wild and crazy promises to the twenty
something teens about how they are going to have such a great time. As
the film progressed it began to appear to me that Corey was ad-libbing
the majority of his lines. As the film progressed further, I began to
wonder if an script ever actually existed at all.
The return of the almighty
Corey causes many problems for fellow counsellor Kyle, who is
outsmarted and outdone at everything he does, so when the Water-ski
competition comes up, he sees it as a perfect chance to sabotage
Corey’s attempt at the famed “triple hinge” ski jump.
A jump that no one other than, Neil Peterson, the camps elderly owner
has ever completed. Corey is pissed and fires Kyle, who goes to work
for Twin Oaks which in turn causes Kelly to whine some more.
Meanwhile, nasty scheming Monica Chavitz, Twin Oaks decidedly evil
British owner has been doing a little sabotaging of her own. In order
to take advantage of Lakeside’s money back guarantee, she makes
camp life miserable for all but a few campers who head home and take
their money back. Defeated, Neil decides to accept her offer of
$500,000 cash for the camp and to call it a day.
BUT NOT ON
COREYS WATCH!
And I quote “I have a plan, but it’s going to take some big
kahonies”.
Corey goes to see Monica and
organises a winner take all Water-ski Comp re-match. However if
Lakeside loses, Corey must go and work for Twin Oaks at minimum wage
for a period of five years! Ouch! But while all this is happening he
manages to convince Kelly that he loves her and after an Oscar winning
heartfelt speech (“Ricky Wade has never been the best at
ANYTHING!”) about how he left because he was scared he
wasn’t good enough for her, she has forgiven him and all is well.
Congrats Corey. You just landed the chick with the smallest breasts in
the entire cast. Now all they gotta do is beat dirty cheating Twin Oaks
to keep the camp. Perhaps Corey will even land the famed triple hinge
while he’s at it!
What the
hell. This movie was dumb but I guess I liked it more than Nightwish.
If you watch past the snogfest at the end of the movie
you’ll be treated to a classic Corey line. I’m not going to
tell you what it is, you can watch the movie for yourself. Yes, I am
that sadistic, but cheer up, I’m not making you, or anyone else
watch Nightwish.
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