I think this movie may actually be the perfect
movie, and I'm ashamed to say that I waited so long to see it. I'm now
convinced that I won't be able to continue existence if I don't watch
this movie once a month. It's everything a cheesy, camp 80's horror
film should be. Complete with kickass theme track. (which I bought yes
yes).
Mike and Debbie are typical, normal American teenagers, on a date at
the local make out spot. Mike's buddies, the Terenzi brothers and their
fat dates head up to the make out spot to try and sell some Ice Cream
(before the fat girls hoe in anymore). Sadly no one wants Ice Cream and
Mike has a good chuckle about the brothers shenanigans before turning
his attention back to Debbie. Then out of nowhere, from the back of
Mike's car they witness what appears to be a shooting star that landed
very close by. Meanwhile, an old man and his bloodhound who own the
property where the "star" landed, head out to investigate and spout
cheesy hick lines. Instead of finding a meteorite of any kind, they
come across a giant metal circus tent. And as expected, the man and his
dog are merely fodder and disappear quickly. Mike and Debbie have
decided to look for it as well, but when they find the tent, they are
able to get inside.
 Despite
all the weird gadgets and tunnels, Mike's still convinced this is one
of those funky new European circuses, but Debbie feels like something
isn't right. After a little exploring they find a room that smells like
cotton candy (fairy floss for those of the non-American persuasion).
Great big mounds of the stuff are hanging from hooks and while Mike
still thinks this is great, Debbie tries frantically to tell him that
no one makes cotton candy that way and that they are on a spaceship.
They pull at one of the hanging mounds and uncover a human face
underneath! So that's what happened to the old man!! Their plans to
scram however are thwarted when one of the clowns arrives to hang up
some more candy. Desperate, they make a run for it and the clown shoots
them with flying popcorn which sticks to their clothes and hair. They
get away, but who's gonna believe their zany story?
Debbie tells Mike that they can go to the police, because she has a
friend there. There appears to be only two cops in the entire town, so
I'm guessing it's not the grumpy old guy who's growling and beating up
the prisoners. My money is on the young tanned blonde dude. Turns out
this friend of hers is actually her ex boyfriend Dave, and he'd rather
beat up Mike than believe their story. Dave makes Debbie go home, who
of course like any good horror movie heroine chooses to take a shower
in times of adversity, while the boyfriends head back up to the farm to
confirm the crazy killer clowns story. All that's left of the tent
however is a big crater in the ground. But the clowns are headed into
town and back up at the make out point, Dave finds enough cotton candy
to convince him that the story might not be so crazy after all.
Back at the Police station, bad cop is convinced that the whole town is
out to make him look like a fool and begins ignoring all the phone
calls from frantic citizens about the gathering of killer clowns in
their little town. He really needs to die. Meanwhile, the clowns are
gathering citizens in their cotton candy cocoons and generally causing
a lot of trouble. Dave and Mike witness a shadow puppet eat a bus stop
full of citizens and while Dave goes to get backup, Mike finds the
Terenzi brothers and goes to check on Debbie.
 Debbie however has problems of her own. The popcorn
that the clown shot at her appears to grow into baby clown worms when
in the dark, and the clothes she put in her hamper were covered in it.
Making a run for it, she discovers that the clowns know where she lives
and they trap her in a giant balloon and head off in their clown car.
Mike and the Terenzi brothers arrive there moments too late and head
off after her. They are soon joined by Dave whose attempt to get backup
didn't go so well. Back at the station he found Bad Cop Curtis dead at
the hands of a giant green haired clown. The townspeople are
disappearing and Mike and Dave must find out where they have Debbie,
but they need to find the ship first. If you were a clown, where would
you hang out? The Amusement Park of course!
They find the ship without too much trouble atop the funhouse and head
to the cotton candy room losing the Terenzi brothers somewhere along
the way. When a clown comes into the room, they hide, only to witness
him pull out a massive crazy straw and suck the blood out of one of the
mounds. They find Debbie and make a run for it. Dave discovered you can
kill a clown by shooting it in the nose, but he doesn't have enough
bullets. The clowns soon have them surrounded. Can they escape? Where
are the Terenzi brothers? Why did Dave kiss Debbie when she's going out
with Mike? So many questions!
I loved this movie, and all the talk of remakes on IMDB makes me wanna
gag. It's fine the way it is. Lets not cock it up at all. I'm sure Tim
Burton has plenty of original ideas in his head and doesn't need to do
another remake right now. *Gosh*
Another small piece of trivia, the amusement park seen at the end of
the movie is none other than the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, the same
park seen in The Lost Boys.
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Year: 1988
