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Yes, I'm writing it, and believe
me when I say it can't be stopped. Chances are if you're looking at
this page, its for one of three reasons. Number 1, you're a friend of
mine, and you're looking at my site out of sheer pity, Number 2, You
googled "Grease" and wound up here by accident or finally and least
likely, number three - You actually do like Grease 2. If your answer is
three, then stick around because I promise you that this review will be
unlike any other review you read on the net. That being because I'm not
going to write about how inferior and stupid this film is compared to
the original. You know me! I love inferior and stupid!
And
this little movie is way up there in inferiority-ness and
stupidtastitude. I mean who couldn't fall in love with such a cheese
infested flick - and let me just say that it would be a perfect world
if all the nerds at my High School were tall, tanned and muscular and
looked like Calvin Klein models (nb. Maxwell Caulfield was indeed a
Calvin Klein model, whaddya know?). This movie is an absolute no
brainer. I'll stack it up on my "mindless fun" pile. There one where
you stick it in, hit play and vegetate for 90 mins. Who can say no to a
little vegetation now and then? Plus Michelle Pfeiffer is way hot in
black leather and red lippie.
Our story begins with yet another year at the infamous Rydell High
School, where only a few years prior Danny, Sandy, and the rest of the
T-Birds and Pink ladies ruled the school with their zany antics and
pink hair-ness. Not much has changed except now its 1961 and poodle
skirts are out and pencil skirts are in, plus the kids now like to sing
a lot more about going back to school. Stephanie Zanone is the leader
of this years Pink Ladies and considering the fact that she's late and
wearing those badass shades, she must be cool. The same can't exactly
be said for the leader of this years T-Birds. Although incredibly
charismatic, Johnny isn't exactly the tallest guy in the film. In fact,
he may very well be the shortest. Perhaps the height difference may be
why Stephanie feels she has outgrown him over the summer. It may be
over for Stephanie and Johnny, but fellow Pink Lady Paulette doesn't
see any harm in moving in on Johnny. He's more than happy to oblige,
but still feels Stephanie is his property.
Enter
Michael Carrington. Unusually spunky, straight laced, British exchange
student and cousin of Sandy. Funnily enough Frenchie and Eugene are
both still at Rydell. Frenchie at least has a decent excuse for being
there, well, as decent enough as we can get in a movie like this,
however I have no idea why Eugene is there at all. In fact, he isn't
after the first ten minutes. Frenchie befriends Michael but Michael is
off to a rough start getting on the wrong side of the T-Birds and
falling head over heels for Stephanie. Pink Lady = T-Bird chick, so
she's off limits to Michael, no matter how hot he finds that snatch.
After a bizarre sing along at the bowling alley where they do amazing
dance moves while carrying bowling balls, Johnny tries to claim his
"trophy", that being Stephanie, prompting her to assert her
independence by claiming she can kiss the next guy to walk through that
door if she wanted to. Johnny sees an old guy walking in and thinks
that’s a hilarious idea. Little does he know that Michael has
just arrived at the bowling alley in an attempt to make friends with
the T-Birds. He wanders in and Stephanie walks up and plants one on
him, then leaves a stunned Michael to go get some food with the girls.
Michael, thinking that is at least a positive sign, attempts to ask her
for a date, but she refuses and sings to him about how he's too much of
a dork for her and how she's waiting for the rebel biker of her dreams.
In a fortunate turn of events, the T-Birds start paying Michael to do
their homework and before long he's saved enough for a bike. Can you
see where this is headed? Huh? Huh? Can you? *wink*
Once again, more musical shenanigans arise at the bowling alley when
Michael turns up in disguise clad in leather and riding that motorbike
like he has been a stunt rider for years. Despite having never seen his
face, Stephanie is completely sold, and Johnny is outrageously jealous.
Frenchie knows Michaels secret and he plans to tell Stephanie but
chickens out. Somewhere in between here and the talent show they have
all been practicing for, Michael and Stephanie go on a romantic bike
ride (goggles and all), Johnny gets even more jealous and sings about
picking up chicks at the Grocery store, and Michael ditches the argyle
sweaters and develops some fashion sense.
Michael
offers to help Stephanie with her English paper just before the talent
show and she admits to him that she is distracted because of her
mysterious motorcycle man. Michael tries to get more information on his
alter ego from her, but instead Johnny shows up and declares that he
and Stephanie are officially over and if she wants to date anyone else,
she has to return her pink lady jacket.
The night of the talent show, Motorbike Michael is chased by the
T-Birds over the edge of a ravine. Stephanie is devastated and breaks
off into song in the middle of the talent show, causing her to win and
be named Queen of the Luau, with Johnny as King. At the Luau, depressed
Stephanie doesn't want anything to do with the celebration or Johnny.
Things start to get real bad when Balmudo, the same crater face guy
from Grease who has been hassling the T-Birds all movie long, rocks up
and destroys the Luau. But wait a minute! The mysterious biker returns
and owns all! Stephanie is overjoyed, and doesn't mind at all that it
is really Michael. Michael joins the T-Birds and all have a happy
ending. Awwwww.
Okay so that’s the short short version, but to be honest there
really isn't much more to this movie other than an agonising scene in a
bomb shelter with two secondary characters and a song about
reproduction. And Mr Spears. He looks like my Dad.
Don't lie. YOU LOVE IT.
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